Thomas Beatie is legally male and legally married to his wife, Nancy. Thomas is currently pregnant with their first child, a healthy girl who will be delivered sometime in July.
Having been born female and later undergoing sex reassignment surgery, Thomas decided to keep his reproductive organs. He says, “Wanting to have a biological child is neither a male nor female desire, but a human desire.”
Nancy is unable to bear children because of a severe case of endometriosis which led to a hysterectomy, so when the time came that the couple was ready to have children, they decided that Thomas would carry the child.
Since then they’ve experienced discrimination from many in the health care industry, and even from their families and friends. It took nine doctors and thousands of dollars before they were given access to an anonymous sperm bank.
For those wondering how it might feel to be a pregnant man, Thomas has these words:
“Incredible. Despite the fact that my belly is growing with a new life inside me, I am stable and confident being the man that I am. In a technical sense I see myself as my own surrogate, though my gender identity as male is constant. To Nancy, I am her husband carrying our child — I am so lucky to have such a loving, supportive wife. I will be my daughter’s father, and Nancy will be her mother. We will be a family.”
I find this story most beautiful. For those who might find it revolting and unnatural, I ask if you are also disgusted by the male sea horse? After the female sea horse deposits her eggs into a pouch on his belly, he fertilizes and carries them until birth.
In a society where fathers are often absent or emotionally unavailable, it’s nice to see a dad who is so desperate to have children that he’s willing to not only carry the child himself, but also to endure incredible discrimination in the process.
Read the first-person account here.
9 Comments
I think that everything is OK with this situation. But people is getting scared of the new. But that is happening because of the fear to different situations. They are not used to it. Sorry for my English: I’m Spanish.
If you want to sign our manifesto about sexual diversity, we are asking the respect for homosexuals and trasgender (the manifesto is written in spanish).
http://www.petitiononline.com/juanat/petition.html
This story is indeed poignant…a dimension that many will miss because their fear and reactivity will get in the way.
I was excited to see them on Oprah this afternoon. Seeing them interviewed meant a lot to me because I struggled to understand their situation just based on that article in the Advocate.
I did not know they were on Oprah.
*Goes to check Oprah.com for video*
I’m sorry! I should have thought to tell you earlier. It was a great show.
I searched and searched last night and finally found video of the show. It was pretty interesting, although I think Oprah asked too many sensational questions. Did we really need to know about the current state of his genitals? She just wouldn’t let it go.
I believe that Thomas and Nancy Beatie have every right to have this baby. There are people out there and they won’t understand why the two of you want to have a child. But who cares what those people think. You have taken away what some people believe is Normal, but what is Normal? I believe that your Little Girl,is a miracle. I’m glad that you told your Story,and not someone else. I wish you both the best of everything, and remember there are some people out here that stand behind you and wish you the best, my husband and myself are two.
The only thing that worries me is the potentially negative reactions this kid will face growing up. Kids will look for anything to make fun of someone, and having a dad who gave birth to you will really set her apart.
@ Jared: It will definitely set her apart, but I don’t think it will necessarily be a negative thing. She’ll be unique, but very loved.