“We cannot change the past, but we can change our attitude toward it. Uproot guilt and plant forgiveness. Tear out arrogance and seed humility. Exchange love for hate”

@ Darla: Thanks so much for the cyber-hug!

@ Alyson: Isn’t it great that we have this method of staying in touch with clergy? It makes it so much easier than driving 25 miles for one-on-one counseling.

@ Karen: I know that overall I have things really good. I have loads of good friends and family members that are supportive of my relationship. I think they all would be if they didn’t allow their fear to get in the way.

@ fightingwindmills: That’s a difficult thing for me to do, because by staying silent, my sister is allowing her husband to set the rules and is thereby guilty by association. There was just no way that I could be around any of them one day after getting this information.

As you’ve probably figured out by now, my birthday was Sunday.

@ Lena B: I haven’t felt very strong the past few days, but I’m still standing.

@ Wei-Hsien Wan: Thanks, bro!

@ Boy Grows Up: It never seems to end does it? I’ve been putting up with this kind of thing for over 13 years now. It gets really tiresome, but I keep praying that it will be a little easier for the next generation.

You made a beautiful point about creating peace where there is none, but it seems impossible to make a difference when some minds are so closed.

Six years later, my mom and dad still have not met him, although my three kids know him and love him dearly and of course say nothing but wonderful things about him to them.

My ex-wife’s husband, on my first visit to their home to pick up my children, told me to stay off his property because he did not want to get AIDS. My ex-wife told my eldest child she would not be in her wedding if I was, since “unholy” people like me should not be allowed in God’s house.

And on and on it goes. Hatred and its many faces.

Ultimately, I’ve decided none of it matters. I’ve learned that I can hold grievances, or I can do something extraordinary: forgive and overlook. If I want a miracle, I have to create a miracle by giving peace when peace is not given me.

It’s not easy, but it is better than holding grudges.

Sorry to hear about the whole scenario. You’re a strong man for working through this. Happy Birthday (again).

W.H.

Is today your birthday? You wrote that your mom wants to give you a birthday party today.

St. John of the Cross, a Spanish priest and mystic, insisted that the only question we’ll be asked when we come into the presence of God is this one: how well did you love? When we understand that God is interested in this, and this alone, perhaps we can begin to set aside our prejudices and fears, and give each other a bit of the enormous gift that has been given to us: love.

I am SO gonna miss emailing my current pastor.

Blessings to you on you, BIG TIME! And may God give you DOUBLE for your TROUBLE!