My name is Brian.
I’m currently living in a very conservative part of the United States with my partner and our three spoiled cats. We’re very normal, perhaps even boring, but we like it that way. Even though our region isn’t very progressive, we have lots of wonderful, supportive friends and an open, accepting church. Life is good.
The name of my site, In Repair, comes from a song by John Mayer. It seems to fit where I’m at in my life right now; working towards certain goals spiritually, emotionally, financially. It feels like I’m pretty close to reaching some of those goals, which is why I love the lyric “I’m not together, but I’m getting there.”
This site usually serves as a space for me to think out loud or to share special memories with friends. I often write about the struggles I face trying to reconcile my faith with my sexuality. It has been a rather difficult and complicated journey so far, yet I’ve still got questions that I want answered.
Please feel free to comment… I love the feedback.
24 Comments
Hi Brian! I found you through Alyson’s site .. I am also living in a rather conservative area of the US, as a neighbor to y’all.
I’m gonna peek around a little bit.
Is that you brian?!
@ Red: Howdy, neighbor! Thanks for stopping by.
@ Amrutha: Yep, that’s me.
Me too - about living in the conservative part of the US. It’s so not my thing, but it’s where I raised my son and where I bought my house - blah, blah, blah. And there’s the job thing. I just wish it wasn’t redneck country. I’d prefer a community where people read books and watched documentaries instead of shooting game and tricking out their pickup trucks.
Why do you have to reconcile your sexuality with your religion? It is all the way around! Religion has to reconcile its views with sexuality. Homosexuality exists and perfectly normal people are gay, so tell religion to get over it and move on. You are the expert on YOU, you know who you are, what you are. So, if someone exterior to the all knowing you tries to define you as evil and wrong, don’t listen. Drop that part of the exterior culture ( which is made up by many ignorant people) and be yourself, which I think you are doing perfectly well.
I am not religious, I am spiritual because I have a spirit that lives inside this body and feels and thinks with a brain in the physical. I don’t belong to any church or religion because that is not born with me but imposed by my circumstances and that, I can reject or accept. PAryts of religions I accept, others based on hatred I drop. As if you are born in a black hating community; you don’t have to partake of the same philosophy.
I hope this not sound imposing becaus eit is not. These are my views about the whole thing about “reconciliation” which I solve easily because I don’t give religion any power over me and my feelings than those I allow it to have.
Be at piece and continue in your soul searching journey and be happy and ever evolving to the best you can be. God bless you.
@ observantbystander: Sounds like we’re kind of in the same boat.
@ Yolanda: Great advice. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on spirituality and religion!
brian = hott.
@ ohchicken: Aw, geez. Don’t make me blush.
I understand “very conservative”.
ohchicken’s right! DANG!
Oh hey quick question. I have the book Eat, pray sleep too! I noticed you are reading it. Thoughts so far?????
@ freefrompt: Thank you!
About the book, I love it so far. I haven’t been reading as much as I would like to, so I’m only in the second section. The author is brilliant and creative. She makes me a little jealous.
You’re positively adorable!
@ Alyssa: Aw, thanks!
Hello! You’re a cutie. I’m new to this blog thing and found yours - added you to my blogroll. My husband is gay and we also live in a conservative state. He is not out yet. Hope we can learn more from each other.
@ anginae: Thanks for the add and the compliment. Can you give me your blog address? It isn’t linked from your username.
i’m not sure how to link it but I think you found it b/c i got a comment from you. I’m totally new to this.
has anyone ever told you you look like Johnny Knoxville in your picture?
I think my link is anginae.wordpress.com
@ anginae: I haven’t heard that one, but I’ll take it as a compliment. I’ve always thought JK was pretty cute.
You can add your link to your username on your WordPress dashboard under Users - Your Profile - Contact Info.
Hi Brian: I just found your blog and really enjoy reading your posts. I’m a partnered guy living in the liberal mecca of Seattle, although I was raised in a radically conservative Southern Baptist environment in Texas. I admire any gay couple who can establish and maintain a balanced, healthy life in a part of the country where gay people struggle to be tolerated, much less accepted. I could not do it — once I left my bogus narrow-minded hate filled “faith” behind, my life began to fall into place. But I could not abide by the ways of the intolerant around me, so I bolted Texas and never have looked back.
I will be a regular reader of yours! My best.
@ Boy Grows Up: I’m so glad you stopped by! Any gay couple that sticks together deserves admiration - no matter where they are located. We’ve been truly blessed to have a supportive church family and great friends, but I realize that many gay couples aren’t so fortunate.
Enjoying the blog immensely. I wanted to thank you for your comment, I had a lot of fun writing that one. Your voice, like so many others is truly needed. Thank you.
There is no agony like the untold story inside you.
Zora Neale Hurston
Hi Brian,
Glad I found your blog…I am on a similar journey of reconciliation, and living in an uber-conservative part of Ontario, Canada, where folk still expect PM Harper to repeal laws allowing gay marriage…
@ Timbre: I meant to reply to this earlier, but I tend to “lose” comments on my static pages. I love the quote!
@ Wayne: Hello to you! I really, really hope that Canada doesn’t take that step backwards.
Brian, as a fellow gay man, I can honestly say that you are my hero.
@ Shaboba: You made my day.